Being Martha-The Gemini

15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

ROMANS 7:15-24

It is not surprising that I can identify with the Gemini trait as I am one-June 16.  This two-faced astrological sign. Being one way with some and another way with others. Moody some people called it.  But within, there was some sort of schizophrenic personality that I try o hard to hide from people.  Who is this other person? I don’t know. I like her though. she is cool when needed.  But as I began to grow in Christ, I realized that this “twin” was not a twin at all. It was the flesh working against the spirit.  She had been such apart of my life, strong-willed, determined, defensive, protective. No one was allowed to get close to her sister, and if the sister allowed it, she lay in wait at the first opportunity to strike.  One day I stumbled across Romans 7. Not really sure how. In that moment I saw my spirit self and flesh across the pages of the Bible, the Living Word of God.  The turmoil of wanting to be one way, but acting another.  And the further my walk in Christ, the harder it got.

“Whether we realize it or not, we all have a little Dr. Jekyl and Ms. Hyde going on inside…We all feel the influence of the Flesh Woman–the unholy roommate, [my twin]…She is that contrary, rebellious, incredibly self-centered version of you who shows up when things don’t go the way you planned and life seems habitually unfair” Unleashing Twanda, p.27.  My twin however is a force to be reckoned with.  Unpredictable, sensitive, like a storm; she brews on the inside. Always watching, processing, eliminating the garbage.  Content in who she is, makes no apologies for defending what she believes is right–even if she is wrong.  As I use “Having a Mary Spirit- Allowing God to change is from the Inside out” as a guide in my transformation to be the woman of God I am destined to be, every page is is a mirror of me. Joan Weaver descibes her Flesh Woman as having an attitude of righteous indignation used to justify the not-so-righteous anger..The flattery poured on in order to secure coveted positions, the false humility in which we cloak ourselves while secretly hoping to be admired.  I know her too, she is my twin.  Determined to remain in control of my life, whatever the cost.

Daily, I struggle to gain control of Woman of God in me. But the cares of this world makes it easy sometimes to let my twin take over.  I must remember that safety is not behind the mask of my twin but in the arms of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Romans 7 tells me why my twin is so strong, but Romans 8 gives me the hope to know that His dying was not in vain.  As I press on to be like Mary and be a Woman after God’s own heart, I purpose to peel back the layers that I have brought me to this battlefield.

Being Martha- The Transformation Begins

As I continue to live out Psalm 139,  God begin to really speak, and I was taking the time to really listen.  Now we all know that God does not always have a “burning bush moment” with us, but He will use what ever means necessary to reach us.  I subscribe to the ‘spirit of prophesy Bulletin” by Faith Tabernacle with Bill and Marsha Burns (http://ft111.com/) and God has been using this man and woman of God to touch my heart especially when I am going through. Don’t you just Love God? My Abba was addressing my issues and answering my prayers and addressing my concerns and my character though this bulletin, and the Holy Spirit.  It was during my recovery from surgery—when I had no choice but to be still–that I begin to really discern His voice. He began to lead me down the “path of righteousness for His Name Sake.”

There was a clear battle going on in my mind and I was tired of losing it.  The stronghold of “Martha” was being used against me and was slowly taking me out of the will of God.  I was making decisions based on this stronghold; right ones and wrong ones. Daily, the Holy Spirit would send Word from my Daddy about what I should, whose I am,  What needed to be changed in me.  I was listening.

First I had to deal with my insecurities.  While I do exhibit confidence, it is sometimes a mask to the surety of things.  I never realized how deep my insecurities ran, because “Martha” was always in control of the emotions.  I had to deal with years of feeling unloved, of forgiving myself for self inflicted hurt. I had a lot of baggage to let go of. I buried myself in activities–here goes Martha again–hoping to fill a void.  But when it was all said and done, I felt lonely, and as an only child, sometimes that is not always a good feeling.  My Bishop prophesied that if I came all the way over in God, that He will fill that void. And all of my needs would be met.  There is so much I want God to do, so many promises that have not yet been fulfilled and I am not getting any younger, though I know our timing is not His.

So I am allowing my self to be transformed.  I know that the enemy will fight me at every turn, but if I just stay focused on God, remembering to stay prayerful, I know that I will be transformed in to the woman God has purposed me to be.  I was sharing my journey with my friend one day and she said something to me that was very profound.  She said that God was uncovering my issues layer by layer, the same way an archeologist uncovers its discovery; digging it up all ay once would destroy me mentally, my mind couldn’t handle it.  i received it, I am very careful about who I allow in my ear.  Uncovering it all, all at once my not be the healthiest thing.

Daily I fight for my transformation. To be a Woman After God’s Own Heart!!!!

A Year ago this month, I didn't "know why the caged bird sings"

A year ago this month (August), I sat in my corporate office and cried my soul out, as I thought about my state of being.  I remember that it started with a simple thought,  I don't think that any ONE thing provoked it; "I feel like a caged bird, fighting to take flight, but the bars, I keep crashing my wings into these bars." Though I have only seen it once or twice, I had a visual of what a bird must feel like, unable to take flight, and then eventually dying.   I felt as if I as dying in this corporate life.  I needed to be free, no I needed FREEDOM! Freedom to be there for my son to be a part of his school activities and academic success; freedom to promote my business, to make products with out feeling that I was pushing my self to unnecessary limits. There was a creative birth about to happen, I was in labor, but the water wouldn't break.  So I cried, I cried until in hurt, as I sat in my office.  In that moment, the words of one of my favorite authors-Maya Angelou- came to mind. "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."  I had no words to really explain how I was feeling. And I truly didn't know at the time what the untold story inside of me was.

“Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprising by anything in between.”

I closed my eyes and said a prayer: Father, 2015 cannot catch me here in this place. I know you don't do things the way we want, I want to be a work at home mom, not a stay at home mom ( I made sure I was clear), however You choose, just help me through the process."  I felt a sense of peace come over me. I did what I knew how to do best. Take action.  I immediately called a friend I know that did contract work.  I told her my experience.  She gave me hope because she believed in my business, my products, she believed in me.  She asked me to send her me resume.  within an hour, she had created another resume for "contract work", saying I needed two kinds of resume based on the jobs I was seeking.

In October 2014, I landed my first virtual paralegal job. I was so excited! I was doing contracts management.  I was working two jobs.  But that was not the plan, not the request.  I allowed myself to once again get caught up the comforts of the status quo, reasoning that I was making "extra income".  There was a petition before God, one that came not haphazardly, but from my soul.

In December 2014, the assignment was over. "Father, 2015 cannot catch me here, I have two weeks to go. Do You!"  My prayers seemed to go unanswered.  Why am I still here, flapping my wings against these bars?

Where did I go wrong in my life?  Why does success seem so unattainable?  The darkness that seemed to surround me was like death, the ultimate fate of a caged bird trying to take flight but can't. The spiritual progression from darkness to light was reminding me of a lesson that had learned long ago, but refused to apply to my life.  It just seemed practical to try to fly, to believe that eventually, my wings would force open the cage.

When I was laid off, the cage door was opened.  I took flight, flew fast and high, not aimlessly, but with a plan.

This month I know why I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 25 years later (I read the book in high school) I truly understand the message the Dr. Maya Angelou was sending.  A timeless message. Dr. Angelou finds out what she is truly made of through trials and is refined into a person of intense character and stamina.  As for me, the pain from trials and growth into adulthood is truly for my good, my resilience continues to shape an amazing character in me because I will always persist to survive.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

You can find a life-sized wax figure of the amazing Dr. Maya Angelou at Madame Tussauds! 

A wax figure of Maya Angelou seen on display at Madame Tussauds on December 6, 2013 in New York City.

Madame Tussauds offers visitors the ultimate celebrity experience, allowing them to interact with jaw-droppingly life-like wax figures of the most famous pop stars, Hollywood legends, sporting heroes and historical icons - all within one attraction. We have 4 US locations - New York, Hollywood, Las Vegas and Washington, DC.

New Attitude

As I sit here under the hot sun at the Hong Kong Dragon Boat Festival in NYC, I think about all the time people waste focusing on the negative things, myself included. There is so much in nature to enjoy, so many things in life to take advantage of. I am facing a lake...Lol, a dirty lake...watching the corporate sponsored boats race each other for a prize. The spectators cheering them on, the melting pot of ethnicities coming out for one purpose: family fun.

As I watch the children, their innocence intact, playing in the dirty marsh, they are not worried about getting dirty or the dangers of the possible bacteria that lies beneath. THEY ARE LIVING! 

This should be our attitude. LIVE. With adulthood comes wisdom, yes, but also fear, doubt and worry.  Our gained wisdom should allow us to live better, enjoy life more, and take advantage of the positive things in life.  We need to see life through the eyes of children. What we as adults see as a "bad" thing, children see as a just a thing to feel to touch to inquire.

In the words of the Patti Labelle's "I've Got A New Attitude" song:

I'm feeling good from my hat to my shoe,

Know where I am going and I know what to do,
I've tidied up my point of view,
I've got a new attitude.

I'm in control,
My worries are few,
'Cause I got love like I never knew,
I've got a new attitude!!!

This is not an easy process. One day at a time, with every sunrise, I see LIFE with a NEW ATTITUDE.

New Packaging, New Branding, New Colors!

I started Kiss Me Nature in 2013. Not really knowing anything about the business, the skin care business, the natural skin care business.  I was going on a hunch. A creative juice that was flowing inside of me that came so unexpectedly.  Still two years later, not sure how it all came about.  I don't remember the seed that was planted, but it was growing...Is growing.

As I began to develop new products, try new things, I realized that I was not focused.  I was spending money on packaging, changing it at whim, and when I had returning customers, I couldn't give them what they originally purchased, at least not in packaging, because I didnt replace what was sold.

I went through my product photos...OMG! How I have grown! Alas it is time to begin anew, NEW focus, NEW game plan, NEW packaging.  One that I intend on branding.  In one month's time, I went from amber to purple, though I have been contemplating the color purple for some time. I guess everything is truly in its own timing.

The Cool Lemon Body Oil

This is a new product from Kiss Me Nature. Cool Lemon Body Oil. Perfect body oil for summer days and summer nights! And also works as a bug repellent. Made with lemon eucalyptus essential oil and citronella,(reported by the CDC to be a good natural substitution for DEET in repelling insects), this all over moisturizer is sure to have you smelling refreshed all day long

Like the New Packaging?  Here is the former (not old) packaging:

Not bad, I think I prefer Purple, and not because its my favorite color.

I invite you to try it, I promise you wont be disappointed.

You have just been "Kissed by Nature"!

Dominique

New...Just Everything NEW

NEW MONTH
In my last post, I talked about the biblical meaning of the number "8".  Three days into the month of August, I am continuing to see things that confirm that this is truly indeed a new beginning for me.

NEW GRATITUDE
I am already so grateful for so many things already, but I often take them for granted. So In this NEW MONTH, I will have a NEW GRATITUDE.  I am grateful for the doors I see opening in my life.  I am grateful for embracing the changes that come with it.  I am grateful that I am no longer emotionally attached to things, people and realize that some things have to go in order for me to move forward.  I am grateful that my husband is a GREAT father to is children, a thing to be celebrated as our men of color have gotten a bad rap of being a "dead beat Dad" because they do fit into our "princess fairy tale" of what the family unit should be.

NEW MINDSET
I am changing the way I think.  I have come to realize that I have been my own worst enemy because of how I thought of things.  Maybe it stems from childhood.  The Bible says "A Man is has he Thinks".  So I am now thinking positive thoughts towards my life and everything in it.  And if negative thoughts try to creep in...I will just simply declare "Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge and bringing into captivity THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ". I will no longer concern myself with what people say about me, how they feel about me.  I am focused.

NEW FOCUS
My spiritual and physical well-being.  My children.  My family.  My community.  My business(es). My finances.

NEW BEGINNINGS...

8-1...The First Day of My New Beginnings

August is the 8th month of the year.  The number 8 in the Bible represents a new beginning, meaning a new order or creation, and man's true 'born again' event when he is resurrected from the dead into eternal life.  

I have been dead for a some time; maybe in a coma.  A breathing machine called the "status quo" where I rested in its safety to keep me alive and breathing.  I was not "brain dead" though.  I went to work, my brain had to be fully functional because I am a paralegal, excuse me..an Advanced Certified Paralegal in Contracts Management and Administration. Big Stuff! I am a wife, a mother of three wonderful children, two of them adults. I was starting a new business, or two..or three.  I was alive, on a breathing machine but I was dead...inside.  

"Its in you" I would hear folks whisper. "Girl you got this, it's in you, that's what you do..." "OMG, Girl you are sitting on a gold mine with these products..."  But when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see what they saw. The gifts, the potential, the talent; the opportunity to make money making products that "just came to me."   I was "creating" things,  but I was just doing it.  I would feel alive when I was creating my body butters, yet I was fighting to live. Life had taken its toll on me. Circumstances, valley moments, pain, hurt, disappointments, joy, laughter, happiness, all rolled into one. 

There was a battle for my life, a war for my soul.  But "Death" would not, could not win. I was fighting to stay alive. It was an even score. Life and Death stood face to face, darkness tried to steal my heart away...(CeCe Winans-Mercy Said No). One day I heard that song. In April 2015, I was let go from my "9-5".  You see the number 4 (April) derives its meaning from creation. On the fourth day of what is called 'creation week' God completed the material universe. On this day he brought into existence our sun, the moon, and all the stars (Genesis 1:14 - 19). Their purpose was not only to give off light, but also to divide the day from the night on earth, thus becoming a basic demarcation of time. They were also made to be a type of signal that would mark off the days, years and seasons. I was being re-born, coming out of my coma and into a destiny that was waiting for me.

My day has come, my seasons are here! All that was within me was starting to become ALIVE. It took 3 months of "rehabilitation" and in July 2015, my destiny gene (Joel Olsteen) was unlocked, my circle was changing, my way of thinking was changing. I was awake, born again, resurrected from the dead into my DESTINY. Seven (July) is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. 

I looked in the mirror and asked myself "What was holding me back from living my BEST LIFE?"  The answer was simple..."ME"